Drunk, Dump

A while back, four months ago in February to be precise, I dated this girl called Milcah, hell, why am I starting this story from the middle.So let me take you back to how Milcah and I started “dating”. I have a friend, Warren, who, a really long and complicated story cut short, was a friend to some girl called Maggy. Maggy was a friend to Milcah, a real friend or rather “a bestie” as most of you would prefer it to be put. Warren lived a long way from school, on the other side of gate E, but further and deeper into the wild, yes wild. Due to the huge distance between school and his house, made worse by the very short breaks between lectures, Warren would spent most of his time at Maggy’s place during the day and retreat to his house later in the evening.Milcah used to spend most of her time with Maggy too due to their misplaced sense of close friendship. Consequently, Milcah and Warren sprought a friendship which defied all odds to the point where they started sharing their personal and private lives with each other.One day, in January, as Warren and I were chilling in my house, a call came through Warren’s phone. It was Milcah. She wanted Warren to help her find a good and affordable bedsitter around school. Warren couldn’t say no, and so he asked me to accompany him to go help that daughter of the Lord. I couldn’t say no either because I had no specific plans for the day so I quickly sprayed myself with perfume to hide the smell of perspiration on my body and followed. What I didn’t know is that Milcah was with Maggy, both of them being strangers to me. I only knew about them from stories Warren had told me.So we found Maggy and Milcah waiting at some pre-planned place. Warren was quick to go for the hugs, but me, being a stranger, stretched out a hand and introduced myself. That was when the search for the bedsitter began.It was a muddy day so we walked in a file to some point; first in line was Maggy, then Warren, then Milcah, and finally me at the end of the line. Warren kept feeding the two girls with stories as I scrolled through my phone looking at nothing in particular, a really effective strategy I use to avoid conversation. The muddy stretch ended and soon we were on the open road, where Warren quickly paired up with Maggy, while Milcah slowed her pace a little to for me to catch up. I fell astep with her but continued scrolling through my phone. I think she thought I was a quiet person which was why she didn’t say a word.A little later, Warren turned back, pointed a finger at me and said, “This friend of mine is a writer, we study the same course.” I must admit I got pissed a little because my plans were to stay quiet the whole time but now I had to open my mandibles. I murmured a few words before recollecting myself and saying, “Yeah, I write,” and to Milcah, “what course do you study?”That single phenomenon played a big role in the creation of a permanent friendship between Maggy and I, and a brief friendship between Milcah and I (brief because we started dating a few weeks later).About a month later after this unwordable whatever, it was Milcah’s birthday, yes that’s right her birthday, so Maggy, Some few friends and I decided to throw this birthday party for her. It was on a Friday night, at some house a few hundred metres from school. The music was loud and pleasurable and so was the liquor, and a great many girls had turned up. I drowned a few shots before the drunkenness got into my head, and that was when I picked Milcah up from where she was sitting, supposedly annoyed, because I had taken too much. Naturally she has this sense of disrespect for guys who drink, but I wasn’t going to stop myself from getting drunk because of anybody.So I picked her up and asked her for a dance. She said no, I asked her why, she said, “Because you’re drunk. ” Well, there’s one thing about rejection, it always comes from people we love. I told her it’s cool and sat down, ignoring the rest of the noise around. A little later, I saw some guy bending over to her, before she smiled, got up, and put her behinds on his front, and started shaking them vigorously to the beat of the music. I think you know how I felt.Then came the part where the birthday cake was to be cut. Naturally being the boyfriend, I was supposed to be the one to cut the cake with her, instead, some other skinny and wretched guy was called to do so for her. I’m a cool person and do I stayed calm, after all, what else could I do besides starting a fight? Which, needless to say, I’d overpower anyone at the party.I couldn’t leave the party because it was dead in the night and the security around the area wasn’t guaranteed. After the cake had been cut and eaten, I called Milcah aside and asked her if she loved me, she said that she would tell me the answer when am sober. I don’t understand why I asked her though because my mind was already made up, this was not the kind of girl I wanted. So I just told her this, “If you can’t love me when am drunk, you can as well do the same when am sober.”And that was how, I dumped the person who had already dumped me. And hey Milcah, no hard feelings I broke up with you because I was drunk, if I was sober I wouldn’t. (laughter)